The easy bit is the plan. The hard bit is the follow-through.
Fear: "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat".
I come from a family that fears. Fear of failure. Fear of the world. Fear of others. Fear of disappointment. Lately, I've been thinking about moments in my life where fear has shadowed my wants and lead me to back down. Like all those times at camp where I watched the others climb, sail and hike because I was too scared to do so. I'm not saying fear is a bad thing. Fear keeps you safe and a lot of the time, has your best interests at heart. Kind of like a mother. But sometimes you've got to fly the coop and move into the house of "thrill".
My decision has been made and it seems as though it is final. My mum still thinks I'm kidding and I'm just saying this to wind her up, but she is very mistaken. Next year, I am going to travel. I said it. It's out there. I can't back down. Well, I can because it's my life and all but I'm going to try not to. Traveling was always what I wanted but the fear of traveling solo, language barriers and security was what stopped me from expressing it.
What's changed? I realized I need to have a little more confidence in myself. If I don't believe in me, no one else will. I'm a good kid. I know right from wrong and I'm smart enough to not make decisions that will lead me into the situations that I fear. Got to give myself a little more credit.
I'm still in the early stages. Plans have not been finalized and I'm still not sure exactly what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go. The focus right now is to finish university with good grades, make some money and try not to have any more panic attacks about the future.
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