An Open Letter To Aggressive Customers: It Doesn't Kill To Be Kind.

Elite Daily, probably my favorite website that I have come across in the last few months, inspired me to do this. I was also inspired to write this post by a horrible customer that came in today and then made me cry. I'm not an easy crier so this woman definitely took things too far. The only thing I can thank her for is, writing material.

Dear Aggressive Customer,

I would like to begin this letter stating that I know you're not a bad person. Everyone has bad days and sometimes the stress overwhelms you and you lash out. Do I think releasing that anger is a despicable crime? Not at all. It's better to get stuff out there instead of bottling it up. However, when you take it out on others, that begins to ruffle a few feathers.

Sure, you have a better paying job than me. Great, you're a professional with more important responsibilities than I do. But, that doesn't give you any reason to look down upon me and treat me with no respect. While you're sitting at your desk for 8 hours of the day, I'm on my feet, having to deal with more than one of your kind. Imagine, having every second person complain or abuse you for something that isn't your fault. I can tell you this much, it isn't fun.

I don't make the products you are buying. I am merely selling them and trying to keep that smile on my face till the end of the day (or until my next break). I don't have a problem with you voicing your concerns or explaining what has gone wrong, to me. That's not an issue at all, as I am a customer too and I face the same challenges. But, when you start swearing and yelling at me, that is not on. If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's excellent customer service. I won't raise my voice louder, pull immature expressions in your direction or let you leave without providing any assistance. Whether you take my advice or not, it's your choice.

When you get angry at me for asking you to sign up to our club, it's not me purposely trying to annoy you because I get great pleasure out of doing so. It is apart of my job. To be honest, I don't care if you reject me. I will move on and not push you as I know it is your choice. Just say 'no' and I'll leave it at that. There's no need to throw a big scene and make me look like an idiot. You do your job and I'll do mine. Plus, there are bigger problems in the world than me asking you whether you want to register to our club.

If you are disrespected by those in a customer service role, then you have all the reason to get angry. At the end of our day, our job is just to be polite, friendly, approachable, informative and to point you in the right direction. I can only speak for myself but I am not some evil monster trying to steal your money. Remember, I am a customer too. I put myself in your position and try to provide you with the truth. Sometimes, that makes me the worst retail assistant because I'm too honest. But I'd rather you be sure we've what you've got than come back in a couple of months and abuse me.

Finally, I would just like to pose a question to you. Have you ever worked in a customer service role? If not, I'll teach you a little trick. Sure, scaring the retail assistant is a way of getting what you want but that just makes you look like an asshole and you're filling yourself with hate. If you really want first class treatment, just be super nice. 9 times out of 10, we will go above and beyond for you. I sometimes give complimentary things to super nice customers because that's my way of thanking them for making my day better. If you don't want to join the club, just say "no, thank you". And if you really want to get the most out of us, ask us how our day has been. Simple as that. We ask you that all day so when someone asks us, it puts a real smile on our face.

I understand you can be frustrated or disappointed with a product you've bought, but at the end of the day, you bought it. We didn't dig into your purse or wallet and take the money from you. We will do our absolute best to fix the issue but we just need a little kindness from your end. And if you hate us that much, you're more than welcome to stop buying from us. I don't have an issue with that at all.

- Esha

Maybe We're Not Like Serena and Blair. Maybe We Don't Get That "Friendship Fairytale Ending".

Why do we choose to hold on, when there's nothing left to hold onto? 

There was a reason why we called ourselves "Serena and Blair". We thought it was because we perfectly identified ourselves as either one of them, but that wasn't it. It was because our up's and our down's were just as momentous as theirs.

The good times were good. The bad times ... well they were there, but we never acknowledged them. Wait, I did try to once. You know, explain how I felt and where we were heading but I was just being a "drama queen" and I was "drunk". Yes, I had a bit to drink that night. But, that conversation we had, I was completely sober for and I remember everything you said to me, even though you think I've forgotten. 

I'm not the victim. Definitely not. There have been times when I've gone to other girlfriends about issues I've had with you, when I really should've kept them to myself. And I apologize for that. I've never been good with talking about my feelings and when you shut me down, I learned to never do that again. Which has lead me here. A place where I no longer need your friendship.

Once upon a time, I used to get excited to catch up with you. Used to laugh and joke and most of all, used to share exciting news with you first. That's all gone away now. The laughter we share is just over old memories because we've drifted so far apart that we have not made new ones. I guess that's the thing though, we've drifted. Moving in two directions and it was bound to happen. We're also two very different people which doesn't help either. 

There are so many questions I have wanted to ask you. Not in a "this makes you a horrible human being" kind of way, but I just want to understand where you're coming from. Why do you always put you boyfriend first over your best friend? You've been with him not even a year. You've known me for around 8 years. I'm sure he notices that you do that as well. Why do you shut yourself off completely and think life's better when you're miserable? I haven't told you this but your negativity brings me down and drains me. And I've had enough. 

I don't want to end this on an unpleasant note. Because regardless of how I feel right now and where we've come to, I appreciate all the memories and moments we have shared together. Somehow, we lost each other and decided to take different paths. For right now, I think it's best if we take a break. You've taught me so much more than multiple relationships could've ever taught me. Our relationship is one of those that I will not regret nor shudder at the thought of. I will smile when the memories come flooding back but I will feel sadness when I think how it became unfixable. 

Stick To It. Not With Blu-Tack. But With SuperGlue.

The easy bit is the plan. The hard bit is the follow-through. 

Fear: "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat". 

I come from a family that fears. Fear of failure. Fear of the world. Fear of others. Fear of disappointment. Lately, I've been thinking about moments in my life where fear has shadowed my wants and lead me to back down. Like all those times at camp where I watched the others climb, sail and hike because I was too scared to do so. I'm not saying fear is a bad thing. Fear keeps you safe and a lot of the time, has your best interests at heart. Kind of like a mother. But sometimes you've got to fly the coop and move into the house of "thrill".

My decision has been made and it seems as though it is final. My mum still thinks I'm kidding and I'm just saying this to wind her up, but she is very mistaken. Next year, I am going to travel. I said it. It's out there. I can't back down. Well, I can because it's my life and all but I'm going to try not to. Traveling was always what I wanted but the fear of traveling solo, language barriers and security was what stopped me from expressing it. 

What's changed? I realized I need to have a little more confidence in myself. If I don't believe in me, no one else will. I'm a good kid. I know right from wrong and I'm smart enough to not make decisions that will lead me into the situations that I fear. Got to give myself a little more credit. 

I'm still in the early stages. Plans have not been finalized and I'm still not sure exactly what I'm going to do or where I'm going to go. The focus right now is to finish university with good grades, make some money and try not to have any more panic attacks about the future. 

Wanderlust.

It's obvious I seek summer, sun, sand and water. Well besides from the last picture of Oxford Street in London. I just love London. 

Mr. One In A Million.

There's probably plenty of "Mr. One In A Million"'s out there for me. But he's the only one I've met so far. 

You could say my track record with guys hasn't been the greatest. Is it really considered a track record if I've never had a boyfriend? I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend. To some that's depressing. To me, it's a bit of a blessing in disguise. I don't like to place labels on things until I know for sure it's the real deal. 

This blog post isn't meant to be a story about all my trials and tribulations with the boys/men I've encountered in my life so far. If it was, it would be so much easier to write. This blog post is about "Mr. One In A Million". 

I think the title is quite confusing in itself. In our lives we will not just come across only one "Mr. One In A Million", but probably multiple. "Mr. One In A Million" has quite a nice ring to it, don't you think? I don't mind being an open book. Judgement is slowly becoming something I no longer fear and I'm always up for a good non-fiction story, and I'm sure others are too. Thus, let me begin my tale of "Mr. One In A Million".

I barely knew him prior to 2013. Sure, we went to the same high school and we both acknowledged each others presence, but I never thought he'd be a guy that would make a mark on my life. Our "friendship" started off quite strangely. We bonded over our fondness of Tinder, our bad life choices, my embarrassing slut drops and his phobia of Squiggles. He told me about his caterpillar to butterfly transformation, his close relationship with his family and what he really wants out of life. I never thought we could have so much in common and neither could he. 

We haven't spent a lot of time together or speak frequently but when we do, it just clicks. The banter is on point, the smiles make an appearance and the butterflies go mental (well in my stomach they do). I knew he had a lot of girls "around" him but somehow he made me feel I was different from the rest. Like, I wasn't just "one of his girls". I think the fact that I didn't show any sign of wanting and yearning to be with him, made me stand out. He probably wasn't used to it. 

Inconsistency was a problem with "Mr. One In A Million". We would go weeks without talking and I would forget how it felt to talk to him or the feelings I had, then boom. A text would appear on my phone. As simple as a "Hey Lil' Shit, what's up?" would give me butterflies all over again. To explain the "Lil' Shit" nickname is nearly impossible and can only be understood by the both of us. I got to a stage where the roller coaster was too much. He'd take me right to the top, thinking there was something there and then let me drop. The problem was, it was never his fault. It was my own. He didn't know how I felt and he didn't know what he was doing to me. 

I got and am at that stage where I'm tired of feeling like this. I could come out and tell him how I feel but I don't want to wreck what we've already built. Because losing something you never thought you'd have is worse than losing anything at all. My whole summary about us is "He's my one in a million but I'm not his". It makes me sad and angry, but not at him. He is such an amazing guy who deserves the world that I hope he finds someone who makes him feel as happy as he makes me feel. I can only hope I find another "Mr. One In A Million" sometime soon. All I can do now is get on with life, love and appreciate our friendship and make even the smallest inkling on his life like he has made on mine.

Dear Mr. One In A Million, you're something special. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

The Intern Group.

http://www.theinterngroup.com/

When I thought I couldn't get more conflicted than I already am, this comes along.

If you couldn't already tell, I'm a bit of an erratic human being. One day I'll be really into something, the next day I'll be completely over the idea of it. Unfortunately this happens with everything, from boys to what I am craving for dinner that evening. 

Last night I was so set on the idea of pursuing Life Before Work (LWB) once I finish university. I watched pretty much all of the Youtube videos and thought this was exactly what I wanted to do. Of course, being the indecisive and unpredictable specimen that I am, I've found something else that has caught my eye. 

The Intern Group is described as an organization that endeavors to "empower & educate individuals, regardless of socioeconomic status, to intern and travel any where on the globe cost-effectively, and leverage the latest technology to share their experiences with others around the world". If that all sounds like gobbledy-goop to you, it's literally just a program where you pay money to intern for a recognized organization in the field you are interested in, in another country. 

When I was doing more research about this, I thought "Hey! This is perfect! I'm conflicted over whether I want to travel or work. I'm pretty much doing both here!". As amazing and rewarding as the program sounds, I'm still not sure if it's quite for me. Is it too late for me to intern? Was that a thing you do while you're still at university? Granted I am still at university but I am in my final year and oh so close to finishing, why would I take time off now?

If you've got the money and the time, I definitely think this is a great option for those soon to begin university or are still in their early to mid stages of university. To get that experience in some of the most competitive fields out there is truly valuable. Also, the ability to do this abroad will allow you to create some amazing connections and develop yourself personally. 

I can honestly say I have never been so confused and conflicted about my future in my life until now. The real problem lies in the fact I don't even know what I want. So torn between the power of money and need for freedom and exploration. I know time is on my side but I fear one day I will wake up and think "Was that all a waste?". I'm optimistic that I'll eventually come to a decision but it's going to take a lot of thought and reflection to reach it. 

To those out there who feel me, we'll work it out ... eventually. 

The Power To Choose.

Looking in the mirror and seeing a completely different person. But that different person is who you truly are. 

Have you ever looked back on things you've done or said and thought "why?". That was me every night before I went to bed and had those mini counseling sessions to myself, while trying to get to sleep. After the many disasters of 2013, a change was in order and it could only be done by me. I don't regret 2013 in the slightest. To be honest, it was a blessing in disguise. I learned a lot about myself, my family, my friends and of course, boys. The lessons that came out of that year were the fuel to ignite a new me. Not just a new me, but the real me.

I've shocked a couple of people this year. Apparently, I'm a completely different person and they would've never thought I could or would ever be this way. The word "different" has been thrown around but not once has anyone said they dislike the person I have now become. That thought makes me smile because the person that I feel like I'm growing into, is my true self and it's amazing to know they love me for the real me. 

You must be thinking, "what the hell was she like before?". I haven't had a full 360 change but it's definitely been a noticeable change. Where to begin? The exterior has had some work. The girl that once wore a full face of makeup and thought "comfort" was the spawn of satan, rocks a bare-face and Converse on a daily basis. Obviously, the cake face comes out occasionally but it no longer comes out for purposes of hiding. I'm shit at art, and makeup is the only creative thing I'm half decent at so I'll play around once in awhile. In saying that, do what makes you happy and what makes you feel confident. Whether that be spending hours on your face or nothing at all. I'm no longer preoccupied over what others wear or how they look, if they're happy, they should go for it. On that note, my friend recently said to me "she dresses like a slut but still acts all Christian and shit" about another girl. The way you dress, doesn't define you. Only you define you. 

I'd say my personality and attitude hasn't changed dramatically. I'm still loud mouthed, slightly cheeky and completely clumsy but I'm a little more observant. Observant to other peoples feelings, thoughts and beliefs. We're all individuals for a reason. Although, I may not agree with another persons opinion, I will respect that, that's their opinion. And also hope that they respect mine. I've also come to understand that you can only control your own feelings and thoughts but you can't control others. However, sometimes you shouldn't have to control your feelings and that's okay. Don't feel guilty about crying over a guy. It's made you upset and you being upset is not a little problem that can be brushed to one side. Everyones allowed their moments and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

There's obviously more to the story but this is just the beginning. What I'm aiming to get across is, its never too late to become the person you want to be. The person I was in my made up scenarios before I went to bed, was not the person I was. I like "made-up" me better than "reality" me so I took the power in my hands, and made that change. It's not an overnight process but more like a work in progress. I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I'll get there eventually. With positive and supportive people around me, happy vibes, good music and things that make me smile, you can get to where you want to be. 

Queen Of The Lists.

Story of my life. Actual list of mine. As you can tell, I'm successfully getting through the important bits. 

If it's not on the list, does that mean it even exists?

I'm not a very complicated human being. Never claimed to be and never will be. Simple things make me happy. Like diamond bracelets and trips to Bora Bora. You know, simple things. All jokes aside, is it weird that list-making or just lists in general, excite me? The satisfaction of crossing off a mundane task that you've spent days procrastinating over and never having to deal with it again. Unless, its something like buying groceries to feed yourself. Then hopefully that will be repeated a few more times. 

I made a list today. Not that much of a shocker because I swear I've made a new list every day since the new year. I've noticed that I'm not as onto it and organized as I used to be. I'm not claiming to be the busiest person on the planet (far from it actually) but I've got a lot going on for me. The assignments keep rolling in, hours at work seem longer and I'm trying to make the most of the $900 Bikram Yoga membership that I purchased at the beginning of the year. I admit I waste majority of my time sleeping, but hey, I like sleep. 

Back onto todays list. With mid-semester break approaching its end, I've now realized I had a shit-ton of work to finish in 4 days. Slap on the wrist for Eshy. I know I can get it done, I just need to see the nightmare of what I have to do in front of me. That's where the list comes in handy. Whether I type it up on my laptop, add it into my notes on my phone or go old-school and jot it down on a piece of paper, I need to see the shock and horror. I find if you see everything that you need to do, you'll get it done. It's so easy to get off task and find something else, less important to focus your time on. By keeping that list in your gaze at all times, you'll know you have serious work to get done. 

I'm slowly making my way through the list, but to be honest I shouldn't have left it so late. But you know, life happens, shit happens, food happens and sleep happens. Things just happen. Better crack onto it. I feel like the next few days are going to be very interesting. 

The New Approach.

Courtesy of Tumblr. Thank you for making me hungry like everytime I log in. http://destinationdesire.tumblr.com/ (shameless plug)

I'm not going to tie your hands behind your back when you're tempted by that ice-cream sundae. I'm going to be the one opposite you, face covered in chocolate sauce and fighting you to the middle. 

I'm that girl.

I'm a big foodie. Definitely not a food snob. Just a foodie. Good food. Bad food. Food is great. Can you tell how much I love food? I don't think there's anything wrong with enjoying food. You've got those people nowadays telling you that there's a certain way to live your life. Or you should steer clear of this or that. Sure, they've got a point. But just like Brandon and Leah say "Life Happens". In this case, food happens.

Previously, I mentioned that I was on a bit of a "wellness odyssey". Fueling my body with all the nutritious pleasures so I'm not a bitch 24/7. Over the past four months, I've done pretty well to be honest. I have more energy, the skin is definitely getting better and to put it plain and simple, I look better naked. I've attempted this "wellness odyssey" plenty of times. Probably tried it at least twice a year since I was 13 and this time is the longest I've gone. What's different?

Food stopped becoming the enemy. Obviously, circumstances will differ between individuals but for any young, self conscious specimen, like myself, this will work. I wasn't large or terrifyingly unhealthy beforehand. Pretty regular, gorged on too many processed snacks when I was either nervous/stressed/heartbroken and I thought I was immune to the side-effects. I was oh-so-wrong. Put on a decent 10-15 pounds in the last two years and I was a pretty miserable human being. In a sense, I was kind of upset over the fact that my body had let me down. It had gone years tolerating my bad habits and now it was payback. I look back on it and I say, fair enough.

I'll go more into my relationship with my body in future blog posts, but for now, this is for you. The girl/boy who thinks it's too late to "break" the cycle. The girl/boy who is over looking at themselves and feeling more upset than anything. The girl/boy who just wants a fresh start. I know it's probably been said one million and two times, but start small. You started off small as a baby and look at you now. You're amazing. Think to yourself, what is one thing that I can cut out for maybe a day/week/month that will really make a difference. Or perhaps its the case of "Ok, I usually have a can of coke a day. Let me try to cut that down to three cans a week". It's not about going cold turkey. It's about weaning. We do it to babies. We can do it to ourselves.

My kryptonite is chocolate. Always has and always will be. My mother's the same. It's them genes. Can't fight it and you shouldn't have to. I really like hot chocolate and used to have a full milky one everyday at university. Obviously not the best for me right? Through a little experimentation and taste-testing, I found a way to indulge without depressing myself. I'll either do 1/4 of the mug of almond milk, 3/4 hot water and a hot chocolate powder OR almond milk and cacao powder. I'm not going to lie and say it's as amazing as a full creamy milky hot chocolate (can you tell I'm frothing at the mouth?) but it'll do when I have those cravings. Plus, I get even more excited now when I treat myself to one of those creamy delights.

I know, quite a long-winded blog post but I have quite a lot to say. As much as I'd love to be one of those fabulous Instagram girls who can live off the air, sea and fruits, I'm not. Sometimes, a girl just needs to tuck into those crispy chicken nuggets with large fries. Just don't make that a regular occurrence.

Lazy Girl Smoothie.

I never claimed to be a good photographer. 

My go-to drink when I want to feel like I'm doing life right. 

Not a fitness/health professional. Just stating that once more before I begin. Since the beginning of the year I've been on a bit of a journey. Started off as a "get fit and hot as f**k" endeavor but now it's become more of a "wellness odyssey". That just sounds so peaceful and serene in itself. Sure, some of the fat has melted off (literally, I do Bikram Yoga) but I'm more focused on living a healthier lifestyle now. You know, not fueling my body with edible toxins all the time. Sure, I'm still going to eat junk. Heck, I ate a cookie big enough for two this morning, but mind my language "YOLO".

Onto the lazy girl smoothie. It's all about shoving stuff thats good for you, into a blender and praying that it doesn't taste like compost. My lazy girl smoothie consists of:

Greek Yoghurt

Almond Milk

Ice

Banana

Berries

Spinach

Chia Seeds

Goji Berries

Cacao Powder

Honey/Agave Nectar

Tastes chocolately because of the cacao powder and sweet because of the honey. It's actually very filling as well as it's loaded with good stuff. Quantities are impossible for me to give because I may as well be blind-folded while I'm making it. It's all about figuring out what tastes good to you. 

And remember: the best smoothies are always the ugliest ones. 

20th Birthday.

Sure, my birthday was a week ago. But ... I shouldn't even need to explain myself. 

Everyone who knows me, knows I'm a bit of an excessive human being. If I like something, I'll buy it in all colors. And theres no such thing as buying a friend "something little" for their birthday. Hey, it's the day of their birth. So, you can only imagine how I treat my birthday.

It's not really a birthday for me. More like a birth-week. Celebrations all round and excuse for everyone to get dressed up and if situation allows: absolutely sloshed. Let's make one thing clear: my birthday is on 13th April. I celebrated my birthday on the night of the 12th, during the day of the 16th and on the 17th as well.

Besides from having a slight mental breakdown on my actual birthday, it was a pretty good week. I feel like when it's your birthday, you've got a free pass to cry. I "hit the town" in the early hours of my birthday and was lucky enough to get free entry everywhere. Except, one bouncer tried to tell me that it wasn't my birthday. Mate, I think I know when my birthday is ... I've been celebrating it for like 20 years now. It wasn't too difficult to prove him wrong.

The photos aren't great (slightly/very sloppy) as we were rushed for time and we'd all been at work all day. But they're worth keeping from this night (note the outfit change):

On the 16th, I had my classy gal's high tea which proved to be a success. I had 15 of my girlfriends come celebrate in true old lady fashion with me at Stamford Plaza in Auckland. As we drank fancy tea, ate sickeningly sweet desserts and gossiped like a bunch of middle-aged housewives, we all enjoyed our time thoroughly.

Lastly, one of my best friends Mackenzie took me out for dinner and dessert. Dinner was Ebisu which was amazing. I died over the food. It also helped that one of the waitresses was my gorgeous friend Helena. And dessert was Milse, which made my soul a wee bit happy. Unfortunately, had an epic fail with the salted caramel ice-cream, which ended up all over the ground of Britomart rather than in my mouth. Had to make a pit-stop to the Chocolate Boutique in Parnell on the way home, to fully satisfy my chocolate needs.

  

I had the most amazing birth-week and am so grateful I got to celebrate it with my most cherished beings. Sure, I cried over a boy on my birthday but that memory is easily overlooked by the other amazing ones that I made. 

Now, my question to you: how do you celebrate your birthday?

Currently Under Construction.

Hi. I am Esha.

How can you describe yourself to others, when you can barely understand yourself?

It's way too "early" in the morning for me to be getting so deep (10am) but deep is what I specialize in. Not in a sexual way, of course. It's way too early in the morning for that as well. I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I would introduce myself in this blog when I realized, I struggle to do this in everyday encounters as well. Of course I've got the basics down packed: "Hi. My name is Esha. I'm 20 years old and I live in Auckland, New Zealand". But the extra (interesting) bits are what I trip up on.

You could say I'm a bit of a work in progress but I guess you could say that about everyone. We're all constantly seeking to improve and better ourselves, even if we don't realize we're doing so. Mine is a little more obvious. I've started eating healthier because I'm sure I was made up of chocolate and fast food for awhile. I've started working out in the hopes of tiring myself out before bed because I'm a child. And I'm more focused on getting better grades because I'm in my final year of university and next year ... well, that's a problem in itself.

After scouring through multiple blogs and articles, I've learned that I'm not the only person suffering from "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO AFTER I GRADUATE" syndrome. Apparently it's like "a thing". I literally have seven months till I finish. May seem like a long time to some, but for a Type A personality like myself, it seems like only days away. To work or to travel? To work and travel? To study more? To lie in my bed all day eating dark chocolate? So many realistic and unrealistic options to involve myself in. My greatest fear: making the wrong decision and having to pick up all the pieces. But, I guess that's what makes life worth living right?

Hopefully from the ramblings above, you get a slight sense of who I am and what I'm like as a human being. Just like anything, that will change over time and you'll learn more things about me and I hope to learn more things about you. I'm not an expert in fields such as fashion, beauty, health, fitness and travel but all I can give is my 2 cents. 5 cents if I'm feeling generous.